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Talk:Embodiment of Britainnia/@comment-66.232.217.154-20140809063628
Miia sounds a bit like a Mary Sue to me. I think you should take a close look at her and maybe make a few changes to prevent others from commenting the same thing. I'm not saying she is 100%, but I will point out what I see at least for you to consider. "Miia is a rough-n-tumble, loud, foul-mouthed, straightforward but good-natured tomboy with a slight girly streak, great sense of creativity, and enthusiasm." - ''This is all fine, contrasting personality can be good, but to be loud and foul-mouthed while also a good-natured tomboy with a girly streak. Careful how you execute that one. ''A person born with autism, she has all five heightened senses, as well as a heightened sixth magic sense, which makes her a bit more powerful than even Romania, Norway, or England. - These guys are famous for their magical prowess and to be stronger, even by a little bit, than all three is over the top. Especially with a "Heightened sixth sense" that's just pushing it. If you argue that she has a developmental disorder, I'm going to have to stop you there. While it's true that people with Autism can be exceptional in various subjects, this is no reason for a character to be this strong. Geting A+ in Math is far different than being stronger than three long-time magic users. A person does not need to be stronger than a magician to be a good character. It's this part of the description I think you may have the most conflict with unless you work on the character. "A girl full of wit and passion, she is very notorious for coming up with witty insults and comebacks to her enemies, fearless in the face of danger, and badass to a fault." ''- Yep, this checks out with loud/foul-mouthed, passion is good too, and fearless can be brave. ''"Underneath that loud and haughty exterior, however, Miia is compassionate, caring, and has a motherly side." - But reading over all of the desrciption, where are the faults? "Badass to a fault" is not a suitable flaw (And also a rather confusing one that should be elaborated at least.). What has been described here are some serious extremes. It can work mind you, but you should really consider toning this character down a little. The ability to "Capture" a person's magic and "Adapt" it is also a little big. There's a reason the skills were limited in the game, because the fun of a game is the limits and it's more rewarding being able to work hard and surpass them with what you have. One more thing I should mention is copyrights. You're going to mention Sonic the Hedgehog and the Prismriver Sisters from Sonic and Touhou respectively. As well as close parallels *Or direct* to episodes and taking characters from Creepypasta. I would advise being very careful how you do this, because while this game may not be for profit, this is still using an already existing franchise. Personally I would change one letter in the very least, to make it slightly different, others will still see the original. Please do consider my points, this game does seem very interesting and I hope to play the demo/full game when it is out. Good luck.